The Ups, The Downs and The In-Betweens
by coltishfraxinella
Summary: Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon's relationship is like children on a seesaw, in my opinion. Whenever one is going up the other is going down, and they keep doing it, even though neither of them knows exactly why. This is a series of vignettes of their relationship. They aren't in order, they might not make sense; in the end neither does their relationship.
1. An Introduction

Sirius and Marlene's relationship is like children on a seesaw, in my opinion.

**_Whenever one is going up the other is going down, and they keep doing it, even though neither of them knows exactly why._**

Let me tell you why.

They do it all for that one moment when they're both in the air, halfway down or halfway up, and their eyes meet and they smile and then something happens. I don't know what, I'm afraid neither do they. In the end, they really do understand each other; they really do love each other. But their relationship isn't an easy one or a normal one because they are hugely similar and hugely different, and they are both deeply complex people. They do have their romance, however heartbreaking it is, they do have it with the ups, the downs and all the in-betweens.

This is a series of vignettes of their relationship; the good parts and the bad parts. They aren't in order, they might not make sense; in the end neither does their relationship.


	2. Scared

They stumble into one of the empty rooms in Grimmauld Place after a particularly depressing order meeting, their lips moving together in a fierce frenzy, as if they're trying suck out the unhappiness out of each other. Marlene's kisses leave hot trails of fire all over Sirius's neck and he knows someone could barge in any minute but he doesn't care.

Because they're both feel alone even when they're in a room full of people and they're scared, too scared and maybe, just maybe they understand each other without words, only kisses. They get lost in each other and for a blissful five minutes there is no war, or loss or fear; only Sirius and Marlene. Marlene and Sirius. Somehow this, this feeling is something completely new to both of them and it scares them almost as much as the war itself.

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><p><strong>prompt: new 1365**


	3. Eyes and Necessities

Sirius dreamt of glory once, to be the one who captured an important Death Eater, to be the one who helped win the war, to be more than just his surname. He was just a little boy playing war. Sirius knows now that there is no glory in real war. It is all dust and blood and loss.

Marlene dreamt of glory too, in her own way. To overcome the prejudices against muggleborns, to be seen as something other than her blood status, to be brave. She tries, really she does to but living with the fact that her family's fate depends on her is the hardest thing she's ever done. It's not glorious; she finally realizes it one day when she wakes up crying from a nightmare, it's a necessity.

That's why when sometimes Sirius catches Marlene's eye when she's sitting by herself, lost deep in thought and she looks back as if she knows what he's thinking he fancies they're almost friends.

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><p><strong>prompt: glory 2365**


	4. Good Thing

The Gryffindors are all going down to the Black Lake in preparation of the annual Hogwarts snowball fight, Gryffindor against Slytherin and of course their ringleaders are Sirius Black and James Potter. The whole common room is emptied by the time they come down from the dormitory to the cheers of waiting Gryffindors outside the Fat Lady's Portrait. Just as he's about to step through the portrait hole something catches Sirius' eye. Marlene McKinnon is sitting by the fireplace looking immensely comfortable in one of the plush armchairs as she reads a tattered paperback. He quickly mutters an "I'll be there in a moment" to James and walks towards Marlene.

"Aren't you coming down to the snowball fight?" he asks, almost leaning over her. She lifts one eyebrow and answers in a clipped tone, "No thank you, I'm not interested in getting called a _mudblood _by some Slytherins for the pleasure of getting a handful of snow thrown in my face."

"But Lily is going, and we all know it doesn't mean anything." Sirius says in a confused tone.

"Well, I'm not Lily." Marlene says, _"I'm not that brave. And some days it's too hard to hear it,"_ she wants to add but she doesn't because she's Marlene McKinnon and since when does she open up to people?

"Then it's a good thing I'm not James" Sirius responds. He's not exactly sure what he means by it but then Marlene let's out a laugh that only lasts for a single second and Sirius knows that he said the right thing.

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><p><strong>prompt: snow 3365**


	5. Screams

She doesn't sleep all that much.

It starts sometime between in her 6th year and her 7th , when muggleborn killings become common news and the clutches of fear take hold of everyone in Hogwarts. One night she goes to sleep and wakes up panting, believing her parents and brother to be dead at the hands of Voldemort. The same thing happens every night, the screams, the cruel laughs of the Death Eaters and finally a flash of green light that never fails to wake Marlene up.

She stops sleeping in the dormitory, because she's sure one of the girls is going to wake up and see her trashing in her dreams and Marlene McKinnon isn't weak. She knows that Madam Pomfrey would give her a sleeping draught to end the nightmares but Marlene McKinnon does not welcome help.

She goes down to the deserted common room every night and tries to delay sleep for as long as possible because when she does finally sleep it's punctuated by gasps and screams and dried tears on her cheeks. She casts a silencio on herself so nobody comes down to investigate.

One night, she forgets to cast the spells and Sirius Black comes down to the common room because he isn't much of a sound sleeper either and screams are quite familiar to him, mostly because of Remus.

Marlene lets him stay after making him swear not to tell anyone. They don't do much other than talk for a long time but one night Marlene wakes up with Sirius ' arms around her and thinks that sometime in the night he must have joined her on the couch. It kind of scares her that the fact doesn't bother all that much but she welcomes it.

It's not like in the stories, when the nightmares suddenly stop when you find someone by your side. They don't stop.

Marlene still wakes up shouting, her family's screams echoing in her ears but it's always slightly better when she can hear Sirius' heart beating next to her as if to assure her that she's alive and her parents aren't dead and her brother isn't being tortured in some dank underground dungeon.

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><p><strong>prompt: insomnia 4365 **


End file.
